Thursday, October 16, 2008

THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY DEAD!


Scenes From A Memory has been dying a slow death and know I'm ready to put it out of its misery! Between traveling to California, working my tail off, joining the TAPS Board of Directors, dating and occasionally sleeping, I just didn't have the energy to keep it up. But I'm not done blogging my friends!

I'm now blogging for the station's website, hoinews.com. Getting paid to blog...not too shabby!
We redesigned the sparse Daybreak section into something pretty cool. Gretchen and I are blogging and updating the site daily. There is now video (Clip of the Day, Daybreak Leftovers & Best Friends Friday), photo galleries, polls, message boards, a calendar and more.

Its a work in progress, but I'm excited about the potential of the webpage! Be sure to check it out at this link.

I won't be able to rip into everything and everyone I want to, but maybe that's a good thing. Thanks for reading!

Mark Welp

Thursday, June 26, 2008

My Big Mouth & Someone Else's Small Mind


Yes that is a man dressed like Cher and he looks a lot better than she does!

Occasionally I'll get hate mail from a viewer and it really doesn't bother me. In fact, I get a kick out of it. When Rosie was on The View I would bash her any moment I could... even though we air The View on my station. I got a few impassioned emails telling me where to stick my head, where to rot, etc. Its all good.

What I hate is when someone misinterprets what I say or in 90% of the cases, only hears or sees part of what I'm doing. I feel an example coming on...

This morning we ran a story on Cher being harassed by a drunkard at a Nashville honky-tonk. Long story short, he grabbed her waist. Then he was kicked out of the bar.

The first image that popped into my mind was the picture to your left. Can you see Cher hanging out at a honky-tonk dressed like that? Thats funny to me. I don't know what she was wearing but the scenario could fill 27 Saturday Night Live sketches.

So I made a comment about Cher being harassed in that setting shouldn't really come as a surprise. Can you image Cher in that get-up from the "Turn Back Time" video in a country bar? Gretchen then asked me if I thought she was "asking for it." I said "No!" It was probably good that she asked me just so my position was clear. End of story!

Wait...If it was the end of the story this post would be meaningless! So I get an email from an angry viewer telling me I'm wrong for saying "Cher deserved it." She also wants me to publicly apologize and be held accountable for my actions. Ugh.

So I emailed her back, politely explained my point and apologized if it came across any other way. Even if I did believe scantly dressed women deserved to be harassed, I wouldn't be stupid enough to say it on the air. Alienating your core audience is never a good idea. Especially when your numbers have grown in every ratings book in the last two years. Anyhoo, I haven't got a response and may never get one. Hate mail tends to not be signed.

So if I had to do it all over again, what would I do differently? Nothing.

I think the outspoken Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPiere would applaud me for speaking my mind. Then she would probably kick my ass and strangle me with a boa.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Orange You Glad I Wrote This?

I hate reality TV. Well, most reality TV. Ok, 90% of it. I'm strangely mesmerized by Rock of Love and Gene Simmon's Family Jewels.

In an ironic twist of fate, I was texting with a friend last night (early this morning) and she called me Mr. Orange. No, not Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs... never mind its a long story. Here's the point...right before I crashed I was channel surfing and rode the wave over to the E! channel. What did I see? A whole mess of orange people!...and the worst reality show I have ever, ever, ever seen. Worse than Keeping up with the Kardashians. It's that bad.

Sunset Tan features a cast of stupid, silicone-filled sluts attempted to run tanning salons. Throw in the owners, the Great Pumpkins, and you have the most superficial cast of idiot douchebags you have ever seen. Ever.

Upon doing some research, I discovered a lot of celebrities have appeared on the show to cook their skin, including Kato Kaelin, Pauly Shore, Jose Canseco's ex-wife and an ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas. Oh I almost forget...every other contractually bound star of a lousy E! show has also gotten melanoma from Sunset Tan.

You have to check out Sunset Tan. It is a perfect example of why the rest of the world hates us and frankly I don't blame them. The entire cast needs a huge paper cut on that piece of skin between your thumb and index finder...on both hands.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

THIS IS AWESOME!



Using a public restroom is never a fun experience for obvious reasons. However, and in life there is always a however, I had an awesome experience recently in an airport restroom. No, it wasn't in Minneapolis and no, it didn't involve Senator Larry Craig.

The Dyson Airblade may be the coolest bathroom invention since disposable toilet seat covers. Unlike regular hand air dryers, it actually dries your hands! Its like a car wash dryer for your hands. Air shooting out at 400mph dries your hands in 12 seconds! It also feels awesome.

I haven't had this much fun with a commercial hand dryer since high school. To the chagrin of the St. Louis County Park District, my friends loved to turn the nozzle on the old hand dryer outside down, dump water in it and watch the H2O fly. Nothing tops off an ice skating session like a little minor vandalism. I hope the statute of limitations has run out.

Anyhoo, the next time you're in the market for a commercial hand dryer, do yourself a favor and check out the Dyson Airblade. It made my time at the Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix very enjoyable. Check it out in the lower level near the Barry Goldwater exit. You'll be glad you did!

P.S. If anyone knows where a Dyson is located in Illinois or Missouri, drop me a comment.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Back In God's Country

I got back a few days ago from visiting the girls in California and had a great time.

I had grand plans to take them to a baseball game or go horseback riding, but first I took them bowling and they loved it!

Anna and I went by ourselves on Saturday because Lauren was having a little separation anxiety from Mommy. It was a good bonding experience and she was excited to pick out her own ball. Of course the orange ball matched her orange shirt.

We had the gutters turned into bumpers to make things easier for both of us! When her balls eventually hit the pins they did some damage! She rolled a strike and a few spares.


When we got home Lauren saw the pictures and watched the videos she wanted to bowl too. So all three of us went on Sunday and had a lot of fun. It was funny watching Lauren get a running start and then slam the ball straight down! Eventually I sat out and the two of them kept bowling and bowling...and bowling. They are both extremely competitive and kept watching the video screen to see who was winning. This could end up being a good hobby for them. The old smoke-filled, beer splattered alleys I remember as a kid are a thing of the past. But since it is California they may need to get Prada bowling ball bags.


Sunday, April 13, 2008

You Gotta Be Able To Laugh At Yourself...


Compilation of Reporters Getting Owned - Watch more free videos

Well, maybe not at the girl that caught on fire.

I may have jinxed maybe with this post. This Tuesday I'm scheduled to ride with a stunt pilot to promote the Prairie Air Show. I hope I don't puke.

Anyhoo, back to the video...I still get a kick out of "Dr. D" David Schultz slapping John Stossel around. Next year will mark the silver anniversary of that infamous beat down. Even though wrestling is predetermined, I think Stossel should interview a real "shooter" like William Regal, Dave Finley or Kurt Angle.



Anyone of them would rip that 'stache off his face and feed it to him.

C'mon Stossel...Even Oates shaved that ridiculous thing off!

Idiot of the Day

From the "Why can't they just look beautiful and sing" department...

NEW YORK — There's another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist.

The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: "'Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. 'Gangsta rap' didn't exist."

Keys, 27, said she's read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck "to symbolize strength, power and killing 'em dead," according to an interview in the magazine's May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: The bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

Keys' AK-47 jewelry came as a surprise to her mother, who is quoted as telling Blender: "She wears what? That doesn't sound like Alicia." Keys' publicist, Theola Borden, said Keys was on vacation and unavailable for comment.

Though she's known for her romantic tunes, she told Blender that she wants to write more political songs. If black leaders such as the late Black Panther Huey Newton "had the outlets our musicians have today, it'd be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself," she said.


Saturday, March 29, 2008

Nick & Jessica


Its never easy to say goodbye to friends but in the t.v. business its something you have to learn to deal with. What makes it even more difficult is when you lose friends AND people who are good at their jobs.

Jessica Wheeler and Nick Ponton have left the station for hopefully greener pastures.

Jessica held several positions at the station, the last being weekend anchor. She was a great reporter, weather person and anchor. We always had fun when she filled in on the morning show. I'll miss her sense of humor and my gossip buddy.

Nick was a photographer and editor, but could have just as easily been the assignment editor, producer or news director. He usually came up with better story ideas than a lot of reporters, including myself.

I don't remember if I got a chance to tell them goodbye at their party last night, so there you go.
Fare thee well my friends.





Wednesday, March 12, 2008

MY PRIDE AND JOY

People grow apart.

Relationships sour.

The life in these frail bodies ends.

But their bond as sisters will last forever.

I'm so thankful they have each other.

REDNECK RAMPAGE

I've been cussed out, spit on, threatened and shoved (not in Peoria yet) but this is ridiculous! Thankfully this attack on a Greenville, South Carolina reporter was caught on tape by the competition. Former HOI-19 producers Scott Lundeen and Meghan Fisher just started working at WSPA a few weeks ago! I expect Meghan will probably blog about it soon. Knowing Meghan, she'll be waiting for them if they bond out of jail...knowing Meghan they better watch their asses!

Sunday, March 9, 2008

I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE!


While I was home sick last week I finally got around to watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised and the loved the movies. I was hesitant to watch them because they came out around the same time as the Harry Potter movies. I didn't read the HP books...I hated the movies.

The LOTR movies were fun, well written, visually awesome and entertaining. Even the three hour length didn't put me off. They're one long story that makes you want to keep watching. Which brings me to my dilemma.

LOTR is a trilogy, but for some reason there are forces keeping me from watching the third movie! I borrowed the three movies and watched the first two last week. Since the movies are three hours long you really have to plan your schedule around them. I went back to work Wednesday and planned on watching the third movie when I got home. My excitement quickly faded when I realized the disc wasn't in the case. Ugh.

So after work on Thursday I rented The Return of the King. I rush home and pop the disc in my dvd player. It didn't work. IT DIDN'T WORK! It was definitely the disc. I took it back to Family Video but of course they only have one copy.

I'm frustrated that I'm frustrated that I'm dying to see a movie I never wanted to see!!!!!!!!

P.S. I still think Elijah Wood is creepy. Never trust anyone that doesn't blink.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

THE EVIDENCE

The Dive for Cover video is now posted.

There are also pictures.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

THE TEETH FAIRY



Anna and Lauren lost their first teeth! Did you know the going rate in California for teeth is $5 a pop? I'm thinking about yanking a few for my car fund!

WHAT TO DO?

I'm at an important crossroads. Keep fixing my car or buy a new (used) one? Ugh. I hate this. First a little background...

I just paid off my 1998 Pontiac Grand Am in December. Its nice not having a car payment, but of course the car is now falling apart. In the last four months I've invested in: 4 new tires, new brakes, a serpentine belt and just two weeks ago a new rack and power steering hoses. The mechanics say I'll probably need a new power steering pump ($300) sooner rather than later.

There are also some existing problems: virtually no heat, a passenger side window that is held up with clear packaging tape, and a cracked bumper. I don't think I could get too much on trade for this 145,000 mile beauty.

If I get rid of it now, I feel like all the money I invested in it will go to waste. I also know the problems aren't going to stop. HELP!

Any advice or recommendations of good car dealers are urgently appreciated!

NOT A GOOD WEEKEND


I dodged it for a few weeks but the bug finally caught up with me. Just a few hours after the Dive For Cover, I felt the itch in my throat and nose. I woke up Saturday morning and knew I was screwed.

After a 2 hour wait at the (not so) urgent care center, a doctor diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection. Ugh. Why did it have to this weekend? I hear the weather was really nice! I was going to clean out my car. Oh wait...it doesn't matter. My F@#%! car broke down again!

As I was driving to Walgreens to get my prescriptions filled I heard a horrible sound coming from under the hood. I drove straight to Goodyear and had it checked out. Turns out one of the ginormous spring that holds the car up broke in half!

But that ain't all! It bent my strut!

But that ain't all! As they drove it into the garage the broken spring shot out and put a 6 inch gash in my tire! My brand new tire!

But that ain't all! The tire may not be covered under the roadside hazard policy!

But that ain't all! The springs and struts are only sold in pairs!

But that ain't all! Everything needs to be realigned!

But that ain't all! If I do decide to get it fixed it won't be done until Tuesday!

Another customer looked at my tire and said "Goodyear?"

I looked at him and said, "No...the worst." That was too easy.

A GREAT DIVE

I'm to happy to report the Dive for Cover was a big success. Divers raised $95,000 for the South Side Mission! Hopefully when the final numbers are tallied it will be $100,000. We raised $81,000 last year and had about the same number of people dive. Thats a great increase considering the state of the economy and the fact that the community had to bale out a public television station.

Thanks to the generosity of our family, friends and loyal viewers, the Daybreak team raised more than $2500.

It was a fun day and the weather was a lot better than last year. The water was still 33 degrees, but the sun was shining and the wind was minimal.

Our wedding theme costumes were a smash! I didn't feel as awkward when I saw a lot of other people dressed in drag!

I hope to have more pictures and video posted in a few days.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Dive Update


2 days until the Dive for Cover and we have surpassed our goal of $1900 thanks to loyal viewers, friends and family! Thanks to everyone who donated. There is still time to give to the less fortunate of Peoria.

In another exciting development, we have chosen our costumes for this year. Lets just say they should generate a lot of buzz. Tune into Daybreak on Monday for video of the event!

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

DIVE FOR COVER 2008

My co-anchor Gretchen and I are diving (actually jumping) into a frozen pond again this year to benefit the Southside Mission in Peoria!
The Maui Jim Dive for Cover 2008 is Friday February 29. Our goal is to raise $1900 and I need your help. Please donate whatever you can afford.
There are some great changes this year including...
*You can pay by credit card this year.
*For every $19 you donate, you will be entered into a drawing to win a $750 prize pack that includes 2 pairs of Maui Jim sunglasses worth $400, a cooler with a built-in stereo system, shirts, a ukulele, Hawaiian prizes and more! **UNFORTUNATELY FAMILY MEMBERS AREN'T ELIGIBLE**

Just click on the link below or cut and paste it in your browser. Click on "WHOI Daybreak viewers click here" and fill in the blanks. DIVE FOR COVER
Feel free to pass this on to friends, family, co-workers and other bloggers. The sooner we get your donations the better. If you'd like to watch us jump the address to Maui Jim is on the website.
Thanks in advance,
Mark




Monday, February 11, 2008

DUH-fensive Driving

I spent my precious Saturday morning in traffic school so that my speeding ticket wouldn't show up on my record...and so I could become a better driver of course!

A Normal (Illinois) officer wrote my ticket a few months ago. 42 mph in a 30. No excuses. Here is the ironic part: I usually don't drive the company car, but my co-worker/world's most dangerous driver was hell-bent on getting us killed. I insisted on driving and the rest is history.

Fellow journalist/lead foot Jonathan Ahl summed up the class very well in his blog. I just have a few things to add. I'm glad I took the class because I now have the faces of several people etched in my mind. If I ever see them on the road I'll be able to use my defensive skills to get the hell away from them! Especially the young guys in the back of the room. They seemed extremely proud of their excessive speeding and other moving violations. I wouldn't be surprised to see some of their names and "R.I.P."written in white shoe polish in the back of some car windows eventually. Unless they fall off an overpass after spray painting some clever message defending their sister's honor first.

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Condolences

Before my efforts to release my own grief and frustration, I should have first recognized the victims of the massacre on Thursday night.

Mayor Mike Swoboda is in critical condition after being shot in the head. I went to high school with the Mayor's son Mike and I wish nothing but the best for the Swoboda family.










Public works director Ken Yost


















Officer William Biggs


















Councilman Michael Lynch


















Councilman Connie Karr


















Officer Tom Ballman

Friday, February 8, 2008

And Away We Go


It didn't take long for some people to blame Kirkwood City officials, the system, Bill Belichick, El Nino and global warming for one evil bastard's actions. This is a good article from the Post-Dispatch...I put the really irritating parts in bold type.

Meacham Park meeting discusses race
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
02/08/2008

In an emotional meeting of the Meacham Park Neighborhood Association this afternoon, a common theme was racial divide. People spoke angrily about it, cried about it and prayed to close it.

Many also spoke sympathetically of Charles "Cookie" Thornton, the man who murdered five at the Kirkwood City Hall Thursday night before police gunned him down. One man called Thornton a "hero."

About 100 people jammed the two-hour emergency meeting in the former J. Milton Turner school, an 84-year-old building that was renovated into a community center. Roughly one third of those present were white. Annie Bell Thornton, the killer’s mother, sat in the front row.

Association President Harriett Patton opened the meeting saying, "I have been crying all night, and I’m trying...." Overcome by more tears, she couldn’t continue. A procession of ministers then spoke of God’s love and the need for prayer and healing, but also called for Kirkwood and beyond to understand Meacham Park, the predominantly African-American area of the suburb.

"It takes prayer and it takes time. This is something that took place over time, and perhaps it could have been avoided," said Elder Harry Jones of Men and Women of Faith Ministries. "There always has been a great divide between Kirkwood and Meacham Park."

He received many "amens."

Several white residents said they wanted to learn more about the problems in Meacham Park and offered to help. One woman, who identified herself only as Anna, sobbed as she said, "I am so sad. I want to know what I can do as a white woman to make this change?"

Minister Joy Williams, who had spoken earlier of growing up in Meacham Park, approached Anna and said, "Give me a hug."

Other speeches had a harder edge. Ben Gordon, a black man from Webster Groves, said, "To me, Cookie Thornton is a hero. He was an athlete... He opened a business. He went to court, but the system failed him... We are sorry, we grieve, but (Kirkwood officials) share in this responsibility."

Ending his speech to loud applause, Gordon called him "a soldier who paid the price for liberty."

But the Rev. Miguel Brinkley, pastor of the Kirkwood Church of God, strongly disagreed, saying Thornton’s actions "were not the way God says things should be handled." Later in the meeting, when the issue came back up, Meacham Park native Laura Brassfield said, "He was a hero to this community for things he did before. In his last act, he was not a hero."

Meacham Park was settled by whites in the 1890s, but became a rural black community before World War I. It was annexed by Kirkwood after a referendum in 1991. Kirkwood and St. Louis County built new housing at no cost to residents, and55 acres were cleared to build a major shopping center on Kirkwood Road.

Michael Moore, who called himself a friend of Thornton, said, "Kirkwood has gotten rich off the backs of the blacks in Meacham Park... Kirkwood adopted us, for only for the check."

A tearful Shannon Hicks, another Meacham Park native, said, "We have to start bridging this gap with our children. We have to stop thinking about (Kirkwood) as Mayberry and realize this is the real world."

Franklin McCallie, longtime former principal at Kirkwood High School, said he spoke often to Thornton several years ago in an effort to resolve his conflict with city hall. He said he considered Thornton a friend but admitted he didn’t understand his disagreement, noting that Kirkwood offered to cancel Thornton’s stack of parking tickets if he’d start obeying the ordinances.

"He said, ‘It’s a matter of principle to me.’ He wanted to sue for millions," McCallie said. "When this happened last night, I felt so helpless."

Annie Thornton spoke last, saying, "We’ve got to do things the Bible way. I’m sad that this happened."

Patton, the association president, said it will hold another public session on Feb. 25 and is planning a vigil.

"What happened is not the description of Meacham Park. We are trying very hard to make things better," Patton said.

She noted that Kirkwood Councilwoman Connie Karr, who was among those murdered, had served as the association’s secretary. "She took that time for us," Patton said. "We have to work together."

Can't Think of a Snappy Title

Six dead as gunman 'goes to war' with Missouri city

I used to joke around about growing up on the mean streets of Kirkwood. Unfortunately, its not funny anymore.

2005...A police officer shot in cold blood. 2007...Michael Devlin is arrested for kidnapping and molesting two boys, one of which he held prisoner for five years. 2008...Charles Lee "Cookie" Thornton shoots a police officer, walks into a city council meeting and starts shooting. Two officers, two city council people and the public works director are dead. The mayor is shot in the head and not doing well.

Its been a horrible four years for the city. The last time an officer was killed in the line of duty was 1898. Now three killed in three years.

So what brought on the massacre? What awful things did the heads of our near perfect suburban community do to this man? Brace yourselves: police gave him tickets for working without the proper permits, and parking his truck and construction equipment in the wrong places. How dare they enforce laws?!?!

So Thornton began attending city council meetings. He was that gadfly (pain in the ass) that you see at council meetings in every small town and big city in America.

From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch...

Back in 2006, city leaders became so fed up with Charles Thornton's verbal badgering that they discussed banning him from meetings. They quickly decided such an action would be inappropriate but decided to place a time restriction on all speakers.

"The City Council has decided that they will not lower themselves to Mr. Thornton's level," Swoboda said at a June 1, 2006, council meeting, according to the Webster-Kirkwood Times. "We will act with integrity and continue to deal with him at these council proceedings. However, we will not allow Mr. Thornton, or any other person, to disrupt these proceedings."

At that same meeting, Charles Thornton sought clarification, asking if he could use such words as "lame jackass" or "displaying qualities of a jackass."

In a meeting a month before, a police officer asked Charles Thornton to leave after he continued to disrupt the proceedings. He refused and sprawled across the floor. The officer eventually threatened to use Mace before Charles Thornton would cooperate. He was handcuffed and taken out of the building.

He then sued the city.

He claimed he had incurred more than 150 citations, costing him thousands of dollars in fines for violations such as performing work without a city permit and improper parking.

Late last month, a federal judge in St. Louis dismissed a lawsuit in which Thornton, representing himself, claimed Kirkwood officials violated his free speech rights by prohibiting him from speaking out at meetings.


In a ruling Jan. 28, U.S. District Judge Catherine D. Perry took into account that Thornton had twice been convicted of disorderly conduct for disrupting meetings in 2006 with off-point complaints about persecution by officials.

"He'd come to the meeting and he'd have a big easel and a picture of a donkey on there and call the council asses."

Sportscaster Doug Vaughn of Channel 4 said he went to Kirkwood High School with Thornton and has run into him through the years. He said Thornton's behavior changed after police cracked down on his parking of vehicles for his construction company outside his home in Meacham Park. He felt harassed, Vaughn said.

"He was more than a critic," Vaughn said. "It got to where he was showing up at every council meeting and trying to dominate everything. He kind of lost his mind."

The mayor and other officials feared for their safety and police officer was eventually stationed in the chamber during meetings.

I've been thinking about this since about two this morning and there is one thing that is bothering me more than anything. The reaction of Thornton's family.

Here are some quotes I pulled from various media sources...

Anne Bell Thornton called what had happened terrible, but said her son was provoked by the city.
"No one should kill," she said. "But people shouldn't drive people to kill."

Really?

She said she never suspected that her son would be violent but described the events as "an act of God, just like a storm or a tornado."

Huh? You think God set this in motion to finally show society that racism against a law breaking construction company owner is wrong? It had to be racism right? The city leaders are white and Thornton is black. It must be racism.

Hold on to your hats for this one...

Thornton's brother, Gerald, told local television station KMOV that he saw justification for the bloodshed. "My brother went to war tonight with the people and government that were putting torment and strife into his life, and he ended it," Gerald Thornton said. "I'm OK with it."

Oh Gerald. You dumb motherfucker. I wish I had two more hands so I could give you four middle fingers. Thats all I'm saying about that.

So what did this killing spree and subsequent diarrhea of the mouth accomplish? Well, "Cookie" is (in)famous and dead. His family will probably now be a target of harassment and real racism. There will probably be stupid people who will retaliate against the family and create a real racism problem.

Thornton left a suicide note that says "the truth will win in the end". Well, here is the truth as I see it. The Thornton family is nothing but human feces. I hope Cookie's actions and their stupidity make the rest of their lives very uncomfortable.

Kirkwood is still a fantastic city, but nobody will ever look at it the same way and that pisses me off.

That old saying "The end of the innocence"...I finally get it.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

Rental Reviews


Finally rented some movies this weekend I've wanted to see for a long time. "300" was friggin' awesome! I knew it would be visually cool and have great action scenes, but it also had a good plot and great quotes. I'll definitely buy this one in the future.


I love Rob Zombie. Love his music, love his movies, love him. Remakes are always tricky. Halloween is a remake and a prequel. It looks at how Michael Myers turned into a killer. The first half of the movie looks at his childhood and time in the sanitarium. Its pretty disturbing and Zombie uses his gritty visual style and colorful characters to tell the story. Its easy to feel sorry for Myers at first.

The second half of the movie picks up with the killing we've seen before. It kinda lost me at this point. It turns into the typical slasher movie only with a the graphic Zombie style. By the end I was ready for the movie to be over and the end was kind of anti-climatic.

If you like horror movies I would still recommend it. If you haven't seen Zombie's other movies, House of a 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, definitely check them out!

Don't Waste Your Money
















Steve Zahn. The two nameless guys that have been in every Adam Sandler movie. The guy from the Apple commercials. The fat guy from "Superbad". How could you go wrong with this cast? Believe me, you can go very wrong!

I went to see "Strange Wilderness" on a whim last night. 20 minutes into it I wanted to run next door to see "Hannah Montana". Had I known this was going to be a stoner comedy I wouldn't have gone. If you've seen the commercials for this flick you've seen the funniest parts.

There are "smart stupid" movies like Superbad, Knocked Up, 40-year-old Virgin, Borat, etc. Then there are unoriginal "stupid stupid" movies like Epic Movie, the Scary Movie series, etc. Strange Wilderness was disappointingly unoriginal.

Thanks to Joe and Beth for saving what would have been a waste of a night!

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Don't Feel Too Bad For Them




















What are Fred Thompson and Dennis Kucinich going to now that they're out of the presidential race? Oh I don't know. Maybe hang out with their attractive, young wives?

Maybe It Was His Campaign Manager?

As Ryan Seacrest would say... "Thompson Out."

You would think with 20+ years of acting experience, Fred Thompson could have "acted" like he wanted to be president. Jeez! This guy showed as much charisma and energy as a... um...well...a...corpse?

And then there were 3

Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich officially out...way out. Now Hillary, Barack and Edwards can quit shaking in their boots.

During a debate he admitted to seeing a UFO. I don't think that did him any favors, but it was ballsy.

Don't know much about Kucinich? Sean Penn endorsed him. 'Nuff said.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

New Year's Revolution


I meant to post my resolutions two weeks ago, but since most of them are fake and I won't be adhering to the real ones...does it matter that I'm late?

*I resolve to go another year without watching a romantic comedy or period movie. Period.

*I resolve to be a better person...or at least not use anymore foreign objects.

*I resolve to not eat anymore packages of powdered gravy I find in the Aldi parking lot.

*I resolve to get Steve Tarter to watch me instead of Garry. I am Mr. Excitement. Really.

*I resolve to quit talking to my Ipod.

*I resolve to convince myself that; Global warming exists, reality t.v. doesn't exist and that I can escape from the Matrix.

Now to the real resolutions...

*I resolve to be the best Dad I can be and see my kids as often as I can

*I resolve to be the person my dog thinks I am

*I resolve to make even more people laugh, causing them to spit out it whatever they're drinking. I believe the score is Gretchen: 2, Covy 2, Jessica 1.

*I resolve to branch out.

Hillary Cries...Who Could Blame Her?


So Hillary cried...so what? I would cry if I were her too. Judging by her performance in New Hampshire it didn't hurt her. I don't know if it was real or an act. I think it was real for many reasons including...

She was collateral damage in the most famous adulterous act in history. Ouch! That had to suck (pun intended). Being married to a serial cheater has to be tough, but when your political aspirations outweigh your dignity you tend to look the other way. You get beat in Iowa and Barack Obama is stealing your thunder. Emotions get high, especially when you are constantly criticized for having no emotions.

If the democrats don't nominate Hillary, look for a real meltdown. She will simply be a Senator or at best get a good cabinet position if the Dems win. She will never get out of her husband's shadow. She'll be known as the woman who sold her soul for office. I feel a little sorry her, just a little. I hope she has a lot of tissue. She'll need them more than we will.

She finally said something funny!


Ah...the political season is finally in full swing. Everyone is weighing in...here is an excerpt from Roseanne Barr's (remember her?) website...

When Americans find out that Obama backs right wing corporate racist anti worker bullshit, they will not vote for him, and the victory will go to the most racist right wing republican ever.... Mccain, who is a fascist! That the culinary service workers in vegas have promised barak their vote,( he is anti union in his votes) over edwards, who is a pro-union man, just proves how stupid americans are and how they can be tricked so easily by the color of a person's skin...exactly what MLK hated!

Obama doesn't even back reproductive rights for any woman! It is historical that Oprah Winfrey, beloved of women, chooses a flashy man with small credentials over a seasoned woman politician with 35 years of experience...and sells that to the female demographic who look to her for inspiration!

A woman that dares defy the Oprah? If Roseanne's career wasn't already in toilet, that statement would seal it. I'm concerned we'll soon find Rosey dead from "suicide." You just don't mess with Oprah and her legion of zombies.