SCENES FROM A MEMORY

THIS BLOG IS OFFICIALLY DEAD!

2008-10-16T13:44:00.002-05:00

Scenes From A Memory has been dying a slow death and know I'm ready to put it out of its misery! Between traveling to California, working my tail off, joining the TAPS Board of Directors, dating and occasionally sleeping, I just didn't have the energy to keep it up. But I'm not done blogging my friends!

I'm now blogging for the station's website, hoinews.com. Getting paid to blog...not too shabby!
We redesigned the sparse Daybreak section into something pretty cool. Gretchen and I are blogging and updating the site daily. There is now video (Clip of the Day, Daybreak Leftovers & Best Friends Friday), photo galleries, polls, message boards, a calendar and more.

Its a work in progress, but I'm excited about the potential of the webpage! Be sure to check it out at this link.

I won't be able to rip into everything and everyone I want to, but maybe that's a good thing. Thanks for reading!

Mark Welp

My Big Mouth & Someone Else's Small Mind

2008-06-26T11:44:00.005-05:00

Yes that is a man dressed like Cher and he looks a lot better than she does!

Occasionally I'll get hate mail from a viewer and it really doesn't bother me. In fact, I get a kick out of it. When Rosie was on The View I would bash her any moment I could... even though we air The View on my station. I got a few impassioned emails telling me where to stick my head, where to rot, etc. Its all good.

What I hate is when someone misinterprets what I say or in 90% of the cases, only hears or sees part of what I'm doing. I feel an example coming on...

This morning we ran a story on Cher being harassed by a drunkard at a Nashville honky-tonk. Long story short, he grabbed her waist. Then he was kicked out of the bar.

The first image that popped into my mind was the picture to your left. Can you see Cher hanging out at a honky-tonk dressed like that? Thats funny to me. I don't know what she was wearing but the scenario could fill 27 Saturday Night Live sketches.

So I made a comment about Cher being harassed in that setting shouldn't really come as a surprise. Can you image Cher in that get-up from the "Turn Back Time" video in a country bar? Gretchen then asked me if I thought she was "asking for it." I said "No!" It was probably good that she asked me just so my position was clear. End of story!

Wait...If it was the end of the story this post would be meaningless! So I get an email from an angry viewer telling me I'm wrong for saying "Cher deserved it." She also wants me to publicly apologize and be held accountable for my actions. Ugh.

So I emailed her back, politely explained my point and apologized if it came across any other way. Even if I did believe scantly dressed women deserved to be harassed, I wouldn't be stupid enough to say it on the air. Alienating your core audience is never a good idea. Especially when your numbers have grown in every ratings book in the last two years. Anyhoo, I haven't got a response and may never get one. Hate mail tends to not be signed.

So if I had to do it all over again, what would I do differently? Nothing.

I think the outspoken Cherilyn Sarkisian LaPiere would applaud me for speaking my mind. Then she would probably kick my ass and strangle me with a boa.

Orange You Glad I Wrote This?

2008-05-18T12:03:00.011-05:00

I hate reality TV. Well, most reality TV. Ok, 90% of it. I'm strangely mesmerized by Rock of Love and Gene Simmon's Family Jewels.

In an ironic twist of fate, I was texting with a friend last night (early this morning) and she called me Mr. Orange. No, not Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs... never mind its a long story. Here's the point...right before I crashed I was channel surfing and rode the wave over to the E! channel. What did I see? A whole mess of orange people!...and the worst reality show I have ever, ever, ever seen. Worse than Keeping up with the Kardashians. It's that bad.

Sunset Tan features a cast of stupid, silicone-filled sluts attempted to run tanning salons. Throw in the owners, the Great Pumpkins, and you have the most superficial cast of idiot douchebags you have ever seen. Ever.

Upon doing some research, I discovered a lot of celebrities have appeared on the show to cook their skin, including Kato Kaelin, Pauly Shore, Jose Canseco's ex-wife and an ex-wife of Lorenzo Lamas. Oh I almost forget...every other contractually bound star of a lousy E! show has also gotten melanoma from Sunset Tan.

You have to check out Sunset Tan. It is a perfect example of why the rest of the world hates us and frankly I don't blame them. The entire cast needs a huge paper cut on that piece of skin between your thumb and index finder...on both hands.

THIS IS AWESOME!

2008-04-26T12:34:00.007-05:00

Using a public restroom is never a fun experience for obvious reasons. However, and in life there is always a however, I had an awesome experience recently in an airport restroom. No, it wasn't in Minneapolis and no, it didn't involve Senator Larry Craig.

The Dyson Airblade may be the coolest bathroom invention since disposable toilet seat covers. Unlike regular hand air dryers, it actually dries your hands! Its like a car wash dryer for your hands. Air shooting out at 400mph dries your hands in 12 seconds! It also feels awesome.

I haven't had this much fun with a commercial hand dryer since high school. To the chagrin of the St. Louis County Park District, my friends loved to turn the nozzle on the old hand dryer outside down, dump water in it and watch the H2O fly. Nothing tops off an ice skating session like a little minor vandalism. I hope the statute of limitations has run out.

Anyhoo, the next time you're in the market for a commercial hand dryer, do yourself a favor and check out the Dyson Airblade. It made my time at the Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix very enjoyable. Check it out in the lower level near the Barry Goldwater exit. You'll be glad you did!

P.S. If anyone knows where a Dyson is located in Illinois or Missouri, drop me a comment.

Back In God's Country

2008-04-25T12:02:00.028-05:00

I got back a few days ago from visiting the girls in California and had a great time.

I had grand plans to take them to a baseball game or go horseback riding, but first I took them bowling and they loved it!

Anna and I went by ourselves on Saturday because Lauren was having a little separation anxiety from Mommy. It was a good bonding experience and she was excited to pick out her own ball. Of course the orange ball matched her orange shirt.

We had the gutters turned into bumpers to make things easier for both of us! When her balls eventually hit the pins they did some damage! She rolled a strike and a few spares.

When we got home Lauren saw the pictures and watched the videos she wanted to bowl too. So all three of us went on Sunday and had a lot of fun. It was funny watching Lauren get a running start and then slam the ball straight down! Eventually I sat out and the two of them kept bowling and bowling...and bowling. They are both extremely competitive and kept watching the video screen to see who was winning. This could end up being a good hobby for them. The old smoke-filled, beer splattered alleys I remember as a kid are a thing of the past. But since it is California they may need to get Prada bowling ball bags.

You Gotta Be Able To Laugh At Yourself...

2008-04-13T13:45:00.007-05:00

Compilation of Reporters Getting Owned - Watch more free videos

Well, maybe not at the girl that caught on fire.

I may have jinxed maybe with this post. This Tuesday I'm scheduled to ride with a stunt pilot to promote the Prairie Air Show. I hope I don't puke.

Anyhoo, back to the video...I still get a kick out of "Dr. D" David Schultz slapping John Stossel around. Next year will mark the silver anniversary of that infamous beat down. Even though wrestling is predetermined, I think Stossel should interview a real "shooter" like William Regal, Dave Finley or Kurt Angle.

Anyone of them would rip that 'stache off his face and feed it to him.

C'mon Stossel...Even Oates shaved that ridiculous thing off!

Idiot of the Day

2008-04-13T13:33:00.004-05:00

From the "Why can't they just look beautiful and sing" department...

NEW YORK — There's another side to Alicia Keys: conspiracy theorist.

The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter tells Blender magazine: "'Gangsta rap' was a ploy to convince black people to kill each other. 'Gangsta rap' didn't exist."

Keys, 27, said she's read several Black Panther autobiographies and wears a gold AK-47 pendant around her neck "to symbolize strength, power and killing 'em dead," according to an interview in the magazine's May issue, on newsstands Tuesday.

Another of her theories: The bicoastal feud between slain rappers Tupac Shakur and Notorious B.I.G. was fueled "by the government and the media, to stop another great black leader from existing."

Keys' AK-47 jewelry came as a surprise to her mother, who is quoted as telling Blender: "She wears what? That doesn't sound like Alicia." Keys' publicist, Theola Borden, said Keys was on vacation and unavailable for comment.

Though she's known for her romantic tunes, she told Blender that she wants to write more political songs. If black leaders such as the late Black Panther Huey Newton "had the outlets our musicians have today, it'd be global. I have to figure out a way to do it myself," she said.

Nick & Jessica

2008-03-29T14:47:00.014-05:00

Its never easy to say goodbye to friends but in the t.v. business its something you have to learn to deal with. What makes it even more difficult is when you lose friends AND people who are good at their jobs.

Jessica Wheeler and Nick Ponton have left the station for hopefully greener pastures.

Jessica held several positions at the station, the last being weekend anchor. She was a great reporter, weather person and anchor. We always had fun when she filled in on the morning show. I'll miss her sense of humor and my gossip buddy.

Nick was a photographer and editor, but could have just as easily been the assignment editor, producer or news director. He usually came up with better story ideas than a lot of reporters, including myself.

I don't remember if I got a chance to tell them goodbye at their party last night, so there you go.
Fare thee well my friends.

MY PRIDE AND JOY

2008-03-12T15:47:00.004-05:00

People grow apart.

Relationships sour.

The life in these frail bodies ends.

But their bond as sisters will last forever.

I'm so thankful they have each other.

REDNECK RAMPAGE

2008-03-12T15:37:00.001-05:00

I've been cussed out, spit on, threatened and shoved (not in Peoria yet) but this is ridiculous! Thankfully this attack on a Greenville, South Carolina reporter was caught on tape by the competition. Former HOI-19 producers Scott Lundeen and Meghan Fisher just started working at WSPA a few weeks ago! I expect Meghan will probably blog about it soon. Knowing Meghan, she'll be waiting for them if they bond out of jail...knowing Meghan they better watch their asses!

I JUST WANT TO WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE!

2008-03-09T14:50:00.002-05:00

While I was home sick last week I finally got around to watching The Lord of the Rings trilogy. I have to say I was pleasantly surprised and the loved the movies. I was hesitant to watch them because they came out around the same time as the Harry Potter movies. I didn't read the HP books...I hated the movies.

The LOTR movies were fun, well written, visually awesome and entertaining. Even the three hour length didn't put me off. They're one long story that makes you want to keep watching. Which brings me to my dilemma.

LOTR is a trilogy, but for some reason there are forces keeping me from watching the third movie! I borrowed the three movies and watched the first two last week. Since the movies are three hours long you really have to plan your schedule around them. I went back to work Wednesday and planned on watching the third movie when I got home. My excitement quickly faded when I realized the disc wasn't in the case. Ugh.

So after work on Thursday I rented The Return of the King. I rush home and pop the disc in my dvd player. It didn't work. IT DIDN'T WORK! It was definitely the disc. I took it back to Family Video but of course they only have one copy.

I'm frustrated that I'm frustrated that I'm dying to see a movie I never wanted to see!!!!!!!!

P.S. I still think Elijah Wood is creepy. Never trust anyone that doesn't blink.

THE EVIDENCE

2008-03-05T12:38:00.006-06:00

The Dive for Cover video is now posted.

There are also pictures.

THE TEETH FAIRY

2008-03-02T17:20:00.007-06:00

Anna and Lauren lost their first teeth! Did you know the going rate in California for teeth is $5 a pop? I'm thinking about yanking a few for my car fund!

WHAT TO DO?

2008-03-02T17:06:00.003-06:00

I'm at an important crossroads. Keep fixing my car or buy a new (used) one? Ugh. I hate this. First a little background...

I just paid off my 1998 Pontiac Grand Am in December. Its nice not having a car payment, but of course the car is now falling apart. In the last four months I've invested in: 4 new tires, new brakes, a serpentine belt and just two weeks ago a new rack and power steering hoses. The mechanics say I'll probably need a new power steering pump ($300) sooner rather than later.

There are also some existing problems: virtually no heat, a passenger side window that is held up with clear packaging tape, and a cracked bumper. I don't think I could get too much on trade for this 145,000 mile beauty.

If I get rid of it now, I feel like all the money I invested in it will go to waste. I also know the problems aren't going to stop. HELP!

Any advice or recommendations of good car dealers are urgently appreciated!

NOT A GOOD WEEKEND

2008-03-02T16:41:00.007-06:00

I dodged it for a few weeks but the bug finally caught up with me. Just a few hours after the Dive For Cover, I felt the itch in my throat and nose. I woke up Saturday morning and knew I was screwed.

After a 2 hour wait at the (not so) urgent care center, a doctor diagnosed me with an upper respiratory infection. Ugh. Why did it have to this weekend? I hear the weather was really nice! I was going to clean out my car. Oh wait...it doesn't matter. My F@#%! car broke down again!

As I was driving to Walgreens to get my prescriptions filled I heard a horrible sound coming from under the hood. I drove straight to Goodyear and had it checked out. Turns out one of the ginormous spring that holds the car up broke in half!

But that ain't all! It bent my strut!

But that ain't all! As they drove it into the garage the broken spring shot out and put a 6 inch gash in my tire! My brand new tire!

But that ain't all! The tire may not be covered under the roadside hazard policy!

But that ain't all! The springs and struts are only sold in pairs!

But that ain't all! Everything needs to be realigned!

But that ain't all! If I do decide to get it fixed it won't be done until Tuesday!

Another customer looked at my tire and said "Goodyear?"

I looked at him and said, "No...the worst." That was too easy.

A GREAT DIVE

2008-03-02T16:26:00.002-06:00

I'm to happy to report the Dive for Cover was a big success. Divers raised $95,000 for the South Side Mission! Hopefully when the final numbers are tallied it will be $100,000. We raised $81,000 last year and had about the same number of people dive. Thats a great increase considering the state of the economy and the fact that the community had to bale out a public television station.

Thanks to the generosity of our family, friends and loyal viewers, the Daybreak team raised more than $2500.

It was a fun day and the weather was a lot better than last year. The water was still 33 degrees, but the sun was shining and the wind was minimal.

Our wedding theme costumes were a smash! I didn't feel as awkward when I saw a lot of other people dressed in drag!

I hope to have more pictures and video posted in a few days.

Dive Update

2008-02-27T12:29:00.002-06:00

2 days until the Dive for Cover and we have surpassed our goal of $1900 thanks to loyal viewers, friends and family! Thanks to everyone who donated. There is still time to give to the less fortunate of Peoria.

In another exciting development, we have chosen our costumes for this year. Lets just say they should generate a lot of buzz. Tune into Daybreak on Monday for video of the event!

DIVE FOR COVER 2008

2008-02-13T08:37:00.011-06:00

My co-anchor Gretchen and I are diving (actually jumping) into a frozen pond again this year to benefit the Southside Mission in Peoria!

The Maui Jim Dive for Cover 2008 is Friday February 29. Our goal is to raise $1900 and I need your help. Please donate whatever you can afford.

There are some great changes this year including...

*You can pay by credit card this year.

*For every $19 you donate, you will be entered into a drawing to win a $750 prize pack that includes 2 pairs of Maui Jim sunglasses worth $400, a cooler with a built-in stereo system, shirts, a ukulele, Hawaiian prizes and more! **UNFORTUNATELY FAMILY MEMBERS AREN'T ELIGIBLE**

Just click on the link below or cut and paste it in your browser. Click on "WHOI Daybreak viewers click here" and fill in the blanks. DIVE FOR COVER

Feel free to pass this on to friends, family, co-workers and other bloggers. The sooner we get your donations the better. If you'd like to watch us jump the address to Maui Jim is on the website.

Thanks in advance,

Mark

DUH-fensive Driving

2008-02-11T11:55:00.001-06:00

I spent my precious Saturday morning in traffic school so that my speeding ticket wouldn't show up on my record...and so I could become a better driver of course!

A Normal (Illinois) officer wrote my ticket a few months ago. 42 mph in a 30. No excuses. Here is the ironic part: I usually don't drive the company car, but my co-worker/world's most dangerous driver was hell-bent on getting us killed. I insisted on driving and the rest is history.

Fellow journalist/lead foot Jonathan Ahl summed up the class very well in his blog. I just have a few things to add. I'm glad I took the class because I now have the faces of several people etched in my mind. If I ever see them on the road I'll be able to use my defensive skills to get the hell away from them! Especially the young guys in the back of the room. They seemed extremely proud of their excessive speeding and other moving violations. I wouldn't be surprised to see some of their names and "R.I.P."written in white shoe polish in the back of some car windows eventually. Unless they fall off an overpass after spray painting some clever message defending their sister's honor first.

Condolences

2008-02-09T14:37:00.000-06:00

Before my efforts to release my own grief and frustration, I should have first recognized the victims of the massacre on Thursday night.

Mayor Mike Swoboda is in critical condition after being shot in the head. I went to high school with the Mayor's son Mike and I wish nothing but the best for the Swoboda family.

Public works director Ken Yost

Officer William Biggs

Councilman Michael Lynch

Councilman Connie Karr

Officer Tom Ballman

And Away We Go

2008-02-08T21:37:00.000-06:00

It didn't take long for some people to blame Kirkwood City officials, the system, Bill Belichick, El Nino and global warming for one evil bastard's actions. This is a good article from the Post-Dispatch...I put the really irritating parts in bold type.

Meacham Park meeting discusses race

By Tim O'Neil

ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH

02/08/2008

In an emotional meeting of the Meacham Park Neighborhood Association this afternoon, a common theme was racial divide. People spoke angrily about it, cried about it and prayed to close it.

Many also spoke sympathetically of Charles "Cookie" Thornton, the man who murdered five at the Kirkwood City Hall Thursday night before police gunned him down. One man called Thornton a "hero."

About 100 people jammed the two-hour emergency meeting in the former J. Milton Turner school, an 84-year-old building that was renovated into a community center. Roughly one third of those present were white. Annie Bell Thornton, the killer’s mother, sat in the front row.

Association President Harriett Patton opened the meeting saying, "I have been crying all night, and I’m trying...." Overcome by more tears, she couldn’t continue. A procession of ministers then spoke of God’s love and the need for prayer and healing, but also called for Kirkwood and beyond to understand Meacham Park, the predominantly African-American area of the suburb.

"It takes prayer and it takes time. This is something that took place over time, and perhaps it could have been avoided," said Elder Harry Jones of Men and Women of Faith Ministries. "There always has been a great divide between Kirkwood and Meacham Park."

He received many "amens."

Several white residents said they wanted to learn more about the problems in Meacham Park and offered to help. One woman, who identified herself only as Anna, sobbed as she said, "I am so sad. I want to know what I can do as a white woman to make this change?"

Minister Joy Williams, who had spoken earlier of growing up in Meacham Park, approached Anna and said, "Give me a hug."

Other speeches had a harder edge. Ben Gordon, a black man from Webster Groves, said, "To me, Cookie Thornton is a hero. He was an athlete... He opened a business. He went to court, but the system failed him... We are sorry, we grieve, but (Kirkwood officials) share in this responsibility."

Ending his speech to loud applause, Gordon called him "a soldier who paid the price for liberty."

But the Rev. Miguel Brinkley, pastor of the Kirkwood Church of God, strongly disagreed, saying Thornton’s actions "were not the way God says things should be handled." Later in the meeting, when the issue came back up, Meacham Park native Laura Brassfield said, "He was a hero to this community for things he did before. In his last act, he was not a hero."

Meacham Park was settled by whites in the 1890s, but became a rural black community before World War I. It was annexed by Kirkwood after a referendum in 1991. Kirkwood and St. Louis County built new housing at no cost to residents, and55 acres were cleared to build a major shopping center on Kirkwood Road.

Michael Moore, who called himself a friend of Thornton, said, "Kirkwood has gotten rich off the backs of the blacks in Meacham Park... Kirkwood adopted us, for only for the check."

A tearful Shannon Hicks, another Meacham Park native, said, "We have to start bridging this gap with our children. We have to stop thinking about (Kirkwood) as Mayberry and realize this is the real world."

Franklin McCallie, longtime former principal at Kirkwood High School, said he spoke often to Thornton several years ago in an effort to resolve his conflict with city hall. He said he considered Thornton a friend but admitted he didn’t understand his disagreement, noting that Kirkwood offered to cancel Thornton’s stack of parking tickets if he’d start obeying the ordinances.

"He said, ‘It’s a matter of principle to me.’ He wanted to sue for millions," McCallie said. "When this happened last night, I felt so helpless."

Annie Thornton spoke last, saying, "We’ve got to do things the Bible way. I’m sad that this happened."

Patton, the association president, said it will hold another public session on Feb. 25 and is planning a vigil.

"What happened is not the description of Meacham Park. We are trying very hard to make things better," Patton said.

She noted that Kirkwood Councilwoman Connie Karr, who was among those murdered, had served as the association’s secretary. "She took that time for us," Patton said. "We have to work together."

Can't Think of a Snappy Title

2008-02-08T11:49:00.000-06:00

Six dead as gunman 'goes to war' with Missouri city

I used to joke around about growing up on the mean streets of Kirkwood. Unfortunately, its not funny anymore.

2005...A police officer shot in cold blood. 2007...Michael Devlin is arrested for kidnapping and molesting two boys, one of which he held prisoner for five years. 2008...Charles Lee "Cookie" Thornton shoots a police officer, walks into a city council meeting and starts shooting. Two officers, two city council people and the public works director are dead. The mayor is shot in the head and not doing well.

Its been a horrible four years for the city. The last time an officer was killed in the line of duty was 1898. Now three killed in three years.

So what brought on the massacre? What awful things did the heads of our near perfect suburban community do to this man? Brace yourselves: police gave him tickets for working without the proper permits, and parking his truck and construction equipment in the wrong places. How dare they enforce laws?!?!

So Thornton began attending city council meetings. He was that gadfly (pain in the ass) that you see at council meetings in every small town and big city in America.

From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch...

Back in 2006, city leaders became so fed up with Charles Thornton's verbal badgering that they discussed banning him from meetings. They quickly decided such an action would be inappropriate but decided to place a time restriction on all speakers.

"The City Council has decided that they will not lower themselves to Mr. Thornton's level," Swoboda said at a June 1, 2006, council meeting, according to the Webster-Kirkwood Times. "We will act with integrity and continue to deal with him at these council proceedings. However, we will not allow Mr. Thornton, or any other person, to disrupt these proceedings."

At that same meeting, Charles Thornton sought clarification, asking if he could use such words as "lame jackass" or "displaying qualities of a jackass."

In a meeting a month before, a police officer asked Charles Thornton to leave after he continued to disrupt the proceedings. He refused and sprawled across the floor. The officer eventually threatened to use Mace before Charles Thornton would cooperate. He was handcuffed and taken out of the building.

He then sued the city.

He claimed he had incurred more than 150 citations, costing him thousands of dollars in fines for violations such as performing work without a city permit and improper parking.

Late last month, a federal judge in St. Louis dismissed a lawsuit in which Thornton, representing himself, claimed Kirkwood officials violated his free speech rights by prohibiting him from speaking out at meetings.

In a ruling Jan. 28, U.S. District Judge Catherine D. Perry took into account that Thornton had twice been convicted of disorderly conduct for disrupting meetings in 2006 with off-point complaints about persecution by officials.

"He'd come to the meeting and he'd have a big easel and a picture of a donkey on there and call the council asses."

Sportscaster Doug Vaughn of Channel 4 said he went to Kirkwood High School with Thornton and has run into him through the years. He said Thornton's behavior changed after police cracked down on his parking of vehicles for his construction company outside his home in Meacham Park. He felt harassed, Vaughn said.

"He was more than a critic," Vaughn said. "It got to where he was showing up at every council meeting and trying to dominate everything. He kind of lost his mind."

The mayor and other officials feared for their safety and police officer was eventually stationed in the chamber during meetings.

I've been thinking about this since about two this morning and there is one thing that is bothering me more than anything. The reaction of Thornton's family.

Here are some quotes I pulled from various media sources...

Anne Bell Thornton called what had happened terrible, but said her son was provoked by the city.
"No one should kill," she said. "But people shouldn't drive people to kill."

Really?

She said she never suspected that her son would be violent but described the events as "an act of God, just like a storm or a tornado."

Huh? You think God set this in motion to finally show society that racism against a law breaking construction company owner is wrong? It had to be racism right? The city leaders are white and Thornton is black. It must be racism.

Hold on to your hats for this one...

Thornton's brother, Gerald, told local television station KMOV that he saw justification for the bloodshed. "My brother went to war tonight with the people and government that were putting torment and strife into his life, and he ended it," Gerald Thornton said. "I'm OK with it."

Oh Gerald. You dumb motherfucker. I wish I had two more hands so I could give you four middle fingers. Thats all I'm saying about that.

So what did this killing spree and subsequent diarrhea of the mouth accomplish? Well, "Cookie" is (in)famous and dead. His family will probably now be a target of harassment and real racism. There will probably be stupid people who will retaliate against the family and create a real racism problem.

Thornton left a suicide note that says "the truth will win in the end". Well, here is the truth as I see it. The Thornton family is nothing but human feces. I hope Cookie's actions and their stupidity make the rest of their lives very uncomfortable.

Kirkwood is still a fantastic city, but nobody will ever look at it the same way and that pisses me off.

That old saying "The end of the innocence"...I finally get it.

Rental Reviews

2008-02-03T13:47:00.000-06:00

Finally rented some movies this weekend I've wanted to see for a long time. "300" was friggin' awesome! I knew it would be visually cool and have great action scenes, but it also had a good plot and great quotes. I'll definitely buy this one in the future.

I love Rob Zombie. Love his music, love his movies, love him. Remakes are always tricky. Halloween is a remake and a prequel. It looks at how Michael Myers turned into a killer. The first half of the movie looks at his childhood and time in the sanitarium. Its pretty disturbing and Zombie uses his gritty visual style and colorful characters to tell the story. Its easy to feel sorry for Myers at first.

The second half of the movie picks up with the killing we've seen before. It kinda lost me at this point. It turns into the typical slasher movie only with a the graphic Zombie style. By the end I was ready for the movie to be over and the end was kind of anti-climatic.

If you like horror movies I would still recommend it. If you haven't seen Zombie's other movies, House of a 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects, definitely check them out!

Don't Waste Your Money

2008-02-03T13:14:00.000-06:00

Steve Zahn. The two nameless guys that have been in every Adam Sandler movie. The guy from the Apple commercials. The fat guy from "Superbad". How could you go wrong with this cast? Believe me, you can go very wrong!

I went to see "Strange Wilderness" on a whim last night. 20 minutes into it I wanted to run next door to see "Hannah Montana". Had I known this was going to be a stoner comedy I wouldn't have gone. If you've seen the commercials for this flick you've seen the funniest parts.

There are "smart stupid" movies like Superbad, Knocked Up, 40-year-old Virgin, Borat, etc. Then there are unoriginal "stupid stupid" movies like Epic Movie, the Scary Movie series, etc. Strange Wilderness was disappointingly unoriginal.

Thanks to Joe and Beth for saving what would have been a waste of a night!

Don't Feel Too Bad For Them

2008-01-26T10:52:00.001-06:00

What are Fred Thompson and Dennis Kucinich going to now that they're out of the presidential race? Oh I don't know. Maybe hang out with their attractive, young wives?

Maybe It Was His Campaign Manager?

2008-01-26T10:30:00.001-06:00

As Ryan Seacrest would say... "Thompson Out."

You would think with 20+ years of acting experience, Fred Thompson could have "acted" like he wanted to be president. Jeez! This guy showed as much charisma and energy as a... um...well...a...corpse?

And then there were 3

2008-01-26T10:10:00.000-06:00

Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich officially out...way out. Now Hillary, Barack and Edwards can quit shaking in their boots.

During a debate he admitted to seeing a UFO. I don't think that did him any favors, but it was ballsy.

Don't know much about Kucinich? Sean Penn endorsed him. 'Nuff said.

New Year's Revolution

2008-01-12T14:47:00.000-06:00

I meant to post my resolutions two weeks ago, but since most of them are fake and I won't be adhering to the real ones...does it matter that I'm late?

*I resolve to go another year without watching a romantic comedy or period movie. Period.

*I resolve to be a better person...or at least not use anymore foreign objects.

*I resolve to not eat anymore packages of powdered gravy I find in the Aldi parking lot.

*I resolve to get Steve Tarter to watch me instead of Garry. I am Mr. Excitement. Really.

*I resolve to quit talking to my Ipod.

*I resolve to convince myself that; Global warming exists, reality t.v. doesn't exist and that I can escape from the Matrix.

Now to the real resolutions...

*I resolve to be the best Dad I can be and see my kids as often as I can

*I resolve to be the person my dog thinks I am

*I resolve to make even more people laugh, causing them to spit out it whatever they're drinking. I believe the score is Gretchen: 2, Covy 2, Jessica 1.

*I resolve to branch out.

Hillary Cries...Who Could Blame Her?

2008-01-12T14:13:00.001-06:00

So Hillary cried...so what? I would cry if I were her too. Judging by her performance in New Hampshire it didn't hurt her. I don't know if it was real or an act. I think it was real for many reasons including...

She was collateral damage in the most famous adulterous act in history. Ouch! That had to suck (pun intended). Being married to a serial cheater has to be tough, but when your political aspirations outweigh your dignity you tend to look the other way. You get beat in Iowa and Barack Obama is stealing your thunder. Emotions get high, especially when you are constantly criticized for having no emotions.

If the democrats don't nominate Hillary, look for a real meltdown. She will simply be a Senator or at best get a good cabinet position if the Dems win. She will never get out of her husband's shadow. She'll be known as the woman who sold her soul for office. I feel a little sorry her, just a little. I hope she has a lot of tissue. She'll need them more than we will.

She finally said something funny!

2008-01-12T13:51:00.000-06:00

Ah...the political season is finally in full swing. Everyone is weighing in...here is an excerpt from Roseanne Barr's (remember her?) website...

When Americans find out that Obama backs right wing corporate racist anti worker bullshit, they will not vote for him, and the victory will go to the most racist right wing republican ever.... Mccain, who is a fascist! That the culinary service workers in vegas have promised barak their vote,( he is anti union in his votes) over edwards, who is a pro-union man, just proves how stupid americans are and how they can be tricked so easily by the color of a person's skin...exactly what MLK hated!
Obama doesn't even back reproductive rights for any woman! It is historical that Oprah Winfrey, beloved of women, chooses a flashy man with small credentials over a seasoned woman politician with 35 years of experience...and sells that to the female demographic who look to her for inspiration!

A woman that dares defy the Oprah? If Roseanne's career wasn't already in toilet, that statement would seal it. I'm concerned we'll soon find Rosey dead from "suicide." You just don't mess with Oprah and her legion of zombies.

A box of tampons, some Marlboro Lights

2007-12-24T08:01:00.001-06:00

This is one of my favorite contemporary Chirstmas songs. Enjoy!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-24T04:30:00.000-06:00

I hope everybody gets what they want for Christmas!

As your relatives are driving you crazy, just remember the reason for the season...New Year's Eve!

He Played In Peoria

2007-12-17T12:05:00.000-06:00

Dan Fogelberg, the singer and songwriter whose hits “Leader of the Band” and “Same Old Lang Syne” helped define the soft-rock era, died Sunday at his home in Maine after battling prostate cancer. He was 56.
Fogelberg was born in Peoria, graduated from Woodruff High School and attended the University of Illinois.

Not to underscore the death of someone often referred to as an icon and a cool guy, but I find it interesting that his death also signaled the end of Peoria's famous living sons.

While not a household name, especially to anyone under the age of 40, at one time he was extremely famous. Like a lot of under appreciated artists, his contributions will probably be fully realized only now that he is gone.

Richard Pryor is by far the most famous, or infamous Peorian, in history. Fogelberg was arguably a distant second. Not that either of these guys are the most important Peorians to ever live. One could argue Susan G. Komen or Nancy Brinker should top the list.

As someone who likes to thump his chest and rattle off the names of all the famous people from St. Louis, I kind of feel bad that Peoria's two most famous sons are no longer with us.

My new favorite Christmas song

2007-12-17T11:48:00.000-06:00

A Christmas song from Anna & Lauren and Lauren's ballet recital. Lauren is the tall Caucasian.

An Empty Gene Pool

2007-12-16T12:42:00.001-06:00

I've been wanting to blog about the similarities and differences between red necks, white trash and hoosiers. I don't have the energy now, but I did run into the ultimate piece of white trash last night.

After a fun night out on the town in West Peoria we decided to head to my favorite bar to wrap things up. I won't mention the name of the bar because I don't want anyone to get the wrong impression of this place. The encounter could have happened anywhere.

I noticed an incredibly skanky girl grinding on her boyfriend.
I can't really blame her. After all, he was sporting a sweet Orange County Choppers jacket and matching mullet! He must have felt like the BMOC hanging out with two girls. Believe me, quantity not quality in this situation. But soon amusing turned into disturbing.

It was brought to my attention that the skanky grinder was pregnant! WTF?!?! Did I mention she was drinking? Did I mention she was smoking? What about the meth mouth? I had to do a quadruple take on this one. Now I have seen it all.

Luckily I was the sober designated driver or else I would have called her dumb ass out. It did cause me to start drinking 20 minutes before closing time. This piece of garbage has already cemented her kid's future (or lack thereof). Its bad enough when you have a mother whose only goal in life is to last 8 seconds on the mechanical bull, but to put the kid at an even further disadvantage by smoking and drinking is reprehensible.

I pray this kid gets put up for adoption. Hell, she can sell it on the black market for a couple grand and pick out just about anything she wants in Auto Trader. There are so many women who can't have kids, but somehow this genetic wonder could probably get knocked up just by looking at a guy driving a truck with a decal of Calvin pissing on something. It's not fair. Getting pregnant should be a privilege, not a right.

Well, at least I didn't do this!

2007-12-11T03:38:00.000-06:00

40,000 pound garbage truck + slight slope + sheet of ice = drive through party supply store.

This was the scene at Confetti's on W. Glen Avenue in Peoria Monday morning around 8am. The driver was ok and the store owner, maybe not the building owner, had a good sense of humor about it. She told me three years ago a drunk driver went airborne and crashed through the same wall!

Notice the old, ugly off-yellow bricks. The store owner says because they are hard to find and must be specially ordered, it will be awhile before the fix happens. Until then the wall will be boarded up. The city inspector says the building is structurally safe.

Vicktory?

2007-12-10T13:17:00.000-06:00

Michael Vick was sentenced today to 23 months in prison Monday for running a "cruel and inhumane" dogfighting ring and lying about it.

Here are some of the case highlights...

*Vick pled guilty in August, admitting he bankrolled the dogfighting operation and helped kill six to eight dogs.

*Court papers revealed gruesome details about Vick's dogfighting operation, including the execution of underperforming dogs by electrocution, drowning, hanging and other means.

*Vick tested positive for marijuana Sept. 13, violating conditions of his release while he awaited sentencing.

So...23 months in prison...out October 2009. If he receives time off for good behavior, Vick could serve 85 percent of his sentence, resulting in a May 2009 release. Check out what else Vick has to look forward to...

*Vick still faces state charges.

*Vick has agreed to set aside close to $1 million to pay for the care of the 54 pit bulls seized from his dogfighting operation.

*An arbitrator ruled Vick owes the Falcons $19.9 million for not fulfilling his contract. Most of that money is from the signing bonus proration. Its not known whether Vick has the financial ability or willingness to pay off that obligation to the Falcons.

*The Atlanta Journal Constitution estimates Vick will lose about $145 million in salary, future salary and endorsements.

*Just a few banks suing him for defaulting on loans.

But Vick does the chance to redeem himself, just like he has claimed he will do Let's look at what he can do when he gets out of the slammer...

*Go back to school and get his degree. Although I don't think Virginia Tech will pay him to play.

*Visit his brother Marcus in jail. Marcus' rap sheet pales in comparison with Michael's and while he has never been accused of killing animals, he has been accused of just about everything else. Maybe Marcus will get his shit together and stay on the straight and narrow. Anything is possible.

*Get a job cleaning up poop at the Humane Society.

The only lingering question...will Vick go by the name "Ron Mexico" in prison?

Mmmmmmm...Donuts!

2007-12-09T17:05:00.000-06:00

Much like Homer Simpson, I love eating donuts. The kid in me likes doing the occasional donut with my car during the winter. Well, eating donuts covered in icing is great. Doing donuts on the ice isn't so smart! It wasn't even a full fledged donut, but the inch of ice on the ground didn't seem to care.

Luckily no damage to the ol' Pontiac Grand Am. As you can see I bottomed out or up on the parking concrete barrier. Doing what I did was even more stupid considering this money pit will be paid off in 6 days!

Todays blog sponsored by Tazewell Towing.

Note To Self...

2007-12-07T22:07:00.000-06:00

I did a story today on "Cuddle for Compassion" at a primary school in Peoria. All the kids got to wear their pajamas to school if they made a donation to St. Jude Children's Hospital. They also spent the day writing Christmas cards to other sick kids.

This tradition started several years when Aaron Hunter was diagnosed with cancer. Even though he died three years ago at the age of six, his classmates at Northmoor-Edison celebrate his life not only everyday by reading in the library named after him, but with the December fundraiser.

I met Aaron's mom, grandma and brothers today. His mom had a teddy bear, I guess it was one of those Build-A-Bear things. Anyway, when she squeezed its hand it played a recording of a message Aaron left for his mom before he died. Pretty heavy stuff to say the least.

It instantly reminded me of a Christmas present I sent Anna and Lauren last week. I bought an ornament at Wal-Mart that you can record a message on and I tried to squeeze in as much as I could in 15 seconds. I basically told them that I love them and will be thinking about them on Christmas. They opened it a few days ago and really like it.

The ornament also has a place for a picture so I cut out the above picture and put it on. Lauren asked me tonight why I used a picture of the three of us and I told her its because I wish we were all together. I also want the girls to think of us as a happy family even though we're 2000 miles apart.

I guess what I'm trying to say is the next time you're thinking about throwing away a picture or deleting a voicemail from someone you love...don't do it. You never know when you'll need it.

The White Stuff

2007-12-06T22:17:00.000-06:00

We got a few inches of snow in Pekin tonight and for the most part the main roads are in good shape. Salt trucks hit the streets early and as of 9pm the snow has stopped falling. I'm sure Peoria crews got to early to make sure there isn't a repeat of 12/1/06.

Of course there was a gaggle of hillbillies driving their jacked up 4x4's like maniacs just to show Mother Nature who's the boss. Overall people were cautious and my faith in humanity is partially restored.

A S.A.D. Doggie

2007-12-05T22:01:00.000-06:00

I think Duke has Seasonal Affective Disorder. Duke is my 4.5 year old beagle and closest confidant. S.A.D. or winter depression affects your mood sue to the lack of light. Being couped up in a windowless room for most of the day doesn't help much. It also doesn't help that when I take him outside to take care of business, he doesn't loiter. He usually drops a deuce and wants to come right back in.

Since I have Reverse Seasonal Affective Disorder, meaning I get lethargic and moody during the summer and on sunny days, I think I know how he feels. (Maybe I have Perpetual Seasonal Affective Disorder since I've been accused of being moody all year 'round. I invented a disorder...Yeah!!!)

If any pet owners have any ideas on how to cure my furry friend, let me know. I may have to get him a doggie light box. Too bad they don't make serotonin pills!

Irwin R. Schyster

2007-12-04T21:19:00.000-06:00

Nothing like a certified letter from the I.R.S. to ruin a perfectly good day! Oh well.

Now my advice for those who die,
Declare the pennies on your eyes.
'Cause I’m the taxman.

Much Like Bullies, Music Snobs Are Just Unhappy People

2007-12-03T17:18:00.001-06:00

I've made the difficult decision to sell all my CDs and go digital. This was not an overnight decision and I'm sure I'll have many posts about it in the future.

So now I'm selling my discs for absurdly low prices at different stores around Central Illinois and today I ran into one of my least favorite sub-species...the music snob. If you've ever bought music at an independent store (not Best Buy or Wal-Mart) chances are you've met this guy or gal. You can usually sense one a mile away. Never smiles, doesn't want to help you and presently is everything they will ever be. Some have big, thick-framed glasses, too many piercings and jacked up hair. Others don't stand out much.

The Cds I wanted to ditch could be considered mainstream (Jimmy Buffett, Blues Traveler, David Bowie, etc) but apparently they were not cool enough for this tool to buy from me. I was ready for rejection but I could have done without the attitude.

"I only need a few of these and I can give you $25," said Chauncey. (I doubt thats his name but he would probably like it. His parents probably named him Henry Jr. and that is one reason why he hates his life.)

"Cool, lets do it," I said. "Where are the CDs you don't want?"

"Uhh, here you go," as he snickered and sneered.

"Whats so funny," I asked. "You don't like those bands?"

"Uhh...NO," he started to laugh and probably smiled for the first time since MTV2 had Radiohead weekend. "We're not really into truck stop music."

HUH?!?! WTF is truck stop music?

"We don't want CDs you can buy at a truck stop. We like to sell better music," he said.

"Okay, so you're saying nobody would buy these CDs if you tried to sell them," I said.

"Well, those type of people don't really come in here. They usually go to Wal-Mart...or a truck stop," he sneered.

I believe I just got insulted. At this point I'm thinking I should just leave before I do or say something that will further ensure I can never run for political office. But then I realized there was a short line of people behind me...and they looked interested. Bingo! Time to embarrass Chauncey.

I asked the other people if I could see what they were buying; Willie Nelson, REM, Avenged Sevenfold, Death Cab for Cutie, Rolling Stones, Neil Young. This was going to be good.

"So buddy, are you telling me these customers have bad taste in music," I said. "Because I see some truck stop music here," I sneered. "You seem to have truck stop patrons in your store," I snickered.

Chauncey started splattering verbal diarrhea and threw his positioning statement into reverse. One guy actually put his CDs down and left! The rest of the people and one of his coworkers just laughed.

So what did Chauncey learn from this experience? I don't know. I'm guessing he is smiling even less, but I'll know for sure when I bring in my next batch of mainstream garbage next week.

Pump Up The Volume

2007-12-02T19:57:00.000-06:00

I'll be writing about my beloved hometown of St. Louis in this blog and I can't think of a better topic than sports and music. First, read this article from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch about Rams running back Stephen Jackson...

Running back Steven Jackson had just finished answering his final question about Sunday’s bitterly disappointing 24-19 loss to Seattle. Or so reporters thought.

“One second please,” Jackson said, calling back reporters who had begun to disperse in the locker room.

“One thing from me: Can you please do a write-up on entertainment in the dome?” Jackson said. “We need to get it a little more lively, please.”

What’s the best way to liven up the Edward Jones Dome atmosphere?

“You’ve got to look around the league,” Jackson said. “There’s hip-hop played everywhere. I don’t know why we think it shouldn’t be played here.”

Jackson said there’s plenty of hip-hop that can be played that is “clean.”

“Even if you’re playing rock ’n’ roll, or alternative music, it (can be) clean,” Jackson suggested. “It’s fun. I think we need to get our fans behind us. And we can’t do it if everything’s quiet, and it’s not even pumping out music. Thank you.”

This interests me on many levels. Lets talk about the Edward Jones Dome where the Rams play. This place sucks! This airplane hangar/shopping mall has as much atmosphere as an operating room. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy St. Louis got a team to replace the Cardinals and I know the city had to build this monstrosity for it to happen. However, and in life there is always a however, football is an outdoor sport. Real fans would rather brave wind, ice and snow. Speaking of real fans...

There aren't a whole lot of real fans that attend the games. The term 'fair weather' comes to mind. Now that the Rams suck, you don't see the place too full. Many of the people that fill the seats seem to think they're at a social gathering and not a sporting event. These are the people who outfit their kids in authentic jerseys who couldn't tell you the player's first name or what position he plays. When you watch a baseball game on t.v. there is almost always one asshole on his or her cell phone waving at the camera. Great. You spent all that money to get on t.v. and call your friends? Imagine a few thousand people doing that! Most of the fans aren't very passionate and it shows. Its hard for the crowd to get pumped up when they really don't care about the outcome of the game. Speaking of getting pumped up...

Boy O boy does the music suck! As Mr. Jackson will tell you, the choice of music doesn't get the crowd or the players jacked up. Would 'Love Shack' get you pumped up to score a touchdown or cheer for someone trying to score a touchdown? Me thinks not.

It reminds me of a St. Louis Blues game I went to a few years back. I hadn't been to a hockey game in a while and was looking forward to the experience. Hockey is my favorite sport to watch in person. Why? Because you have passionate fans, a fast-paced sport, a lot of beer, female fans in hockey jerseys, its cold, a lot of beer and a good cross-section of people. So my then-wife, cousins and uncle go to the game and had a great time. Plenty of the above mentioned plus the Blues won and fought a lot in the process. One thing bothered me...the music.

St. Louis is a die-hard classic rock town. KSHE-FM is one of the oldest and most successful classic rock stations in the country. Its had the same format for 40 years and I think they have a mind control device embedded in the signal. Are there any stations in Peoria that have kept the same format for 4 years? Anyway, I love the stuff, but at some point you have to embrace other forms of music. No, new releases from Bob Seger, The Eagles and Journey don't count.

Back to the hockey game. Here is what really blew me away...they played some song by Boston. I like Boston. Not what I would pick for a hockey game but it was not totally inappropriate. I think it was 'Cool The Engines'. They played some AC/DC, Metallica, Green Day which worked.
Then it happened...they played another Boston song! WTF?!?!?! Out of the thousands and thousands of songs they could have played some genius chose to play TWO songs by Boston?!?!
I was flabbergasted.

So for all you aspiring sports venue disc jockeys, listen up. Your players and fans are bored to death with the shit coming out of your ginormous speakers. Here are the new rules...

*Don't play that f'n Gary Glitter song 'Rock and Roll Part 2'. Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah...Hey! Besides, he was convicted of possession of child pornography!

*Branch out. Play some alternative and rap. Hell, play some country!

*Don't branch out. You can't go wrong with AC/DC.

*Don't play the same band twice in the same game.

*Don't play any song by women. That may sound sexist, but can you think of a Madonna or Celine Dion song that would be appropriate? Joan Jett may be an exception. I'd love to hear any other suggestions.

To Blog or Not To Blog?

2007-12-02T12:37:00.000-06:00

I've been pondering this question for a loooong time now and I've decided to take the plunge. I'm still not sure its a good idea, but logic has never stopping me from doing what I want!

This may not be a good idea for several reasons. Lets take a look...

*As a member of the media I'm not supposed to have opinions. Opinions are dangerous. Opinions are like assholes...you know the rest. I'm only supposed to communicate the news of the day. For those of you who watch the show, you know that we give our opinions more often than the other shows. Thats part of the reason why we're successful and continue to grow, but I'll save that for a future blog. To stay relatively safe, we save it for meaningless "stories" like Dancing with the Stars results and dumb Hollywood stars doing dumb things. We don't comment on important things like politics and crime...but boy would I like to! Which brings me to...

*Should I bother writing a blog if I can't be honest? I can't write that candidate "A" is a moron and then do a subjective story on him. Sure I can think "A" isn't qualified to clean up poop, but I can't say it on the air and I don't think I should write about it.

*I think this has the possibility of becoming an addiction and I don't want to turn into one of those jelly donut eating, hygienically challenged, socially inept dorks that blogs all day because nobody wants to hang out with them.

So here are the bottom lines (as Santino Marella would say) when it comes to this blog...

*Be prepared to read between the lines! Much like the "We Report, You Decide" motto one "Fair and Balanced" network likes to tout, I'll be throwing things out there for you to think about. Much like the above mentioned network, you can make up your own mind what I'm thinking (even if you already know I'm slightly biased!)

*This blog will be a way for me to avoid a psychiatric care. There will be a lot of ranting and raving. Hopefully you will be able to relate to it (thus making you feel better too), get a good laugh or at least realize YOUR life isn't so bad!

*I'll talk about my job, but this isn't sanctioned by the company that signs my paycheck. I also won't be updating the blog at work(I'll be busy read prowrestling.com)

*Lets have fun! Don't expect any investigative reporting, campaigning or life altering information. There are plenty of other good blog sites for that stuff. Instead, you can expect personal stories, sports and entertainment news and the occasional comedy of errors.

*Please please please...Don't comment on my language, spelling, grammar, style, etc. As you can see I love bullet points!

Feel free to comment on anything and everything! As the king of self-deprecating humor, you probably won't offend me...but feel free to try!

Mark